Feeling like an outsider looking in is a common human experience that transcends age, culture, and status. At times, it seems like we’re alone, adrift on the edge of a group or a situation, merely observing the seemingly cohesive social interactions of others. So, why do we all often feel this way? Let’s look into this phenomenon.

1. The Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome is a psychological pattern in which individuals doubt their accomplishments and internalise fear of being accused of fraud. This feeling can afflict anyone, from students to high-ranking executives, making many feel like outsiders who have merely fooled everyone around them. Despite external indications, this can make it difficult to feel integrated or accepted.

2. Social Comparison

We live in an age of social media, where the most attractive, exciting parts of people’s lives are on full display. This constant exposure to idealised versions of others can lead us to feel disconnected and different. We compare our behind-the-scenes footage with everyone else’s highlight reel, often feeling like outsiders in our own lives.

3. In-group vs. Out-group Bias

As social creatures, humans instinctively categorise people into “us” (the in-group) and “them” (the out-group). When we perceive ourselves as part of the out-group, it can heighten feelings of isolation and alienation, making us feel more like observers than participants in social settings.

4. Individual Differences and Diverse Experiences

Each of us is unique. Our experiences, attributes, and worldviews differ greatly, leading to rich diversity. However, these individual differences can also lead to feelings of not fitting in, especially when we find ourselves amidst people who seem to share more common experiences or attributes.

5. Self-awareness and Self-consciousness

Our internal experiences are private and often hidden from the world. We’re keenly aware of our thoughts, insecurities, and emotions, but we only see others’ external behaviors. This mismatch between our private experiences and the public persona of others can create a sense of separation and a feeling of being an outsider.

6. Personal Growth and Change

Change can be a particularly isolating experience. As we grow, evolve, and alter our life path, we often find ourselves feeling disconnected from our old environments and not quite part of new ones. It’s a transient state of feeling like an outsider that accompanies our journey towards change and personal development.

Feeling like an outsider is a common, shared human experience. Even though it can be uncomfortable, it is a testament to our self-awareness, capacity for growth, and inherent individuality. It’s crucial to remember that everyone is navigating their unique path, and it’s perfectly fine to feel uncertain or different. The feelings of being an outsider are not a life sentence; they’re merely part of our journey through life.